Hello everyone. I apologize for not updating this site in quite some time. I am actively posting on Facebook, so please be sure to join me there. This project is still up and running, though the Universe has given me other priorities at the moment, like my music career and the blessed task of raising my son. I spent 2 years with my brother Christian Andrew collecting submissions for MyThreeThings.org and spreading the word about the benefits of self-forgiveness. The legacy continues, and I’d like to thank each and every one of you who has visited our site, and to those of you who have chosen to release shame, blame and guilt by filling out a release form which will be included in our upcoming book. If you’re new to our site, feel free to browse and when you’re ready, click “Release” and name three things you’re willing to forgive yourself for. To read submissions from people like you around the world click “Heal”. Now, on to the reason for this post…
I am a single mother. My son just turned 14 and isn’t doing well in school. In elementary school, he got mostly A’s. In middle school, there has been a sharp and steady decline in his performance and participation. He is brilliant, very artistic and a free-thinking individual. But I am watching him sink. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he simply doesn’t shine in a public school setting. I am beyond concerned, because for the second year in a row, he is faced with the possibility of failing the school year. REWIND: I grew up in a very tumultuous, and at times abusive, environment. We were poor most of the time. Food stamps, welfare, school lunches and hand-me-downs were all a reality of my younger years. I made very good grades and excelled at everything I put my heart into. My mother never asked if I did my homework or how I was doing in school. She didn’t need to. I knew it was my responsibility and I just DID IT. Admittedly, I had the “Eye of the Tiger” to propel me. This is what I call the powerful drive people have to achieve a better life due to a rough childhood. Ambition is too gentle a word, capiche? FF: I consulted my son’s father and asked what we should/could do. His father is an educator, mind you. “Our son is getting F’s. He might FAIL the school year!” I cried, exasperated with no results after working with my son to improve his grades. His father said “Let him fail. Maybe that’s what he needs to turn this around.” NO. NOOOOO. This is wrong. This reaction might be appropriate for an adult, but NOT A CHILD. I took my son’s face in my hands and said “I will NOT let you fail.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and he fell into my arms. I stepped WAAAAAY out of my comfort zone and decided to look into private schools. As fate would have it, I found a private school that focuses on an artistic and hands-on approach to education. I brought my son to the school for a tour, and after seeing his reaction to their facility, the staff and their approach to learning, made the decision that THIS is where he’ll be attending school next year. It is very expensive, and I never thought I would be in this position. Private school? It’s for the rich, right? It’s a foreign world to me. But I had the faith to try something different and the vision to know without a doubt I would come up with the resources to make it work. Once I made the decision to make this investment in my son I became very emotional, crying for 2 days. I thought I was sad, depressed even, and asked myself WHY I was crying. I wasn’t scared of the $$ (though at my income level it would be appropriate to be), and it wasn’t because I was doing it alone as a single mom…and then it hit me. I WAS CRYING BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY. I was in a state of “Oh sh*t, I can DO THIS!!!” I had NO POINT OF REFERENCE for this abundance, both for the opportunity for my son and the blessing of finding this school. I couldn’t fully process it, much less define it. I didn’t feel WORTHY of this opportunity on some level. I was in danger of regressing to the mean of my life story: “People like me don’t send their kids to private school.” And what’s worse is I was in danger of passing that unworthiness down to my SON! Talk about a wake-up call! So…here is the LESSON and RELEASE: I forgive myself for thinking small and playing small because that was my blueprint. I forgive myself for not embracing possibilities in my future because they didn’t exist in my past. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to feel the JOY that I can do this for my son, because shame clouded the AWARENESS of the power that lies in my ability to dream, do and BE something extraordinary in this life. This may not seem like a major shift to some of you, but for me, it is epic. May this inspire you to reach new levels of awareness and the realization of your own abundant potential in this life.
Release, Heal and Share with Us.
Blessings and Love,
Are you waiting, wishing, pining…for someone to forgive you? Are you spending your days and nights in misery, thinking to yourself, “If he/she forgives me, then I would be ok!” or “If he/she forgives me, I would finally have closure. Then I could move on with my life.” Or even better, “I can’t believe he/she won’t forgive me. He/she isn’t perfect!”. YIKES! Do you see what I see?
This is a game of blame and guilt, and just for fun, it is cloaked in shame. In this game, no one wins and it’s everyone’s fault. Everyone, that is, but you. I mean, you said “I’m sorry” after all…what does he/she expect?!
Forgiveness, accountability, and love for that matter, are nowhere to be found in this vicious cycle. To forgive is to release judgment. Accountability means that you are responsible for your own well-being and for your thoughts, words and actions. Love is acceptance, allowing and release. If you really want to cleanse your emotional palate, then you have to get real with yourself. Ask yourself if you did the best you could. Ask yourself if you learned from the experience. And finally, ask yourself if you really intended to hurt anyone.
Have compassion for yourself without expecting to receive it from anyone else. If you are able to release judgment against yourself, then you will be able to forgive others. You will not expect them to follow suit. You will realize that only he/she has the power to decide whether or not to forgive you. You will no longer be playing a game where no one wins. You will be set free, and your light will shine on the rest of the world to facilitate healing in others. We are all connected and intricately interwoven on the life board. And that’s where you really are. The game board is just an illusion; a torture device with a seductive face. And it gets you nowhere fast. On the life board, we are all learning from, laughing and crying with, helping and loving one another. And with every breath you take, your position on the life board matters.
Take control of your life and choose your position wisely. Stop imposing the responsibility of your well-being on others. If you are seeking redemption, absolve yourself of the guilt you’re choosing to carry around. It is YOUR responsibility to forgive yourself. And if others forgive you along the way? That’s their decision, and it has nothing to do with you. You must realize the value of your position on the life board. And if you’ve fallen to your knees, look to the boundless, crystal-blue sky and know that if you’re willing to release, you will stand again. You will expand, and you will shine again. Grace and love will enter your heart. You will be happy…again.
Release, Heal and Share with Us. It’s your choice. It’s your journey.
Now, walk the talk! Name three things you’re willing to forgive yourself for. Click the RELEASE tab, fill out the form, allow yourself to HEAL, and SHARE your journey with us.
*You may remain anonymous if you wish*
Willingness, Courage and Light,
“Live your truth, losses be damned. Just like that, your heart and soul will return home.” ~Martha Beck
Have you ever floundered in confusion for days on end? Have you said “I don’t know, I’m confused” just to evade accountability, or to let your knees buckle when you feel you aren’t in control of a situation?
We’ve all said this at some point in our lives. But let me tell you something: whether it’s about your job, your marriage, your beliefs or anything else, confusion is the mother of all illusions. Wouldn’t it be lovely to ditch the drama you choose when you say you’re “confused”? Prepare to watch it unravel before your very eyes.
Each of us has an internal guidance system that communicates with us all the time. When your intuition divulges something you don’t particularly like, the ego steps in and complicates things. You begin to resist what is, deny what is, argue about what is, cry about what is, and try in vain to make excuses for what is. You fear loss, suffering, making mistakes, disappointing someone or disappointing yourself. Then, you say you’re confused. But is that really true? Could it be that you just don’t like the truth because it seems, on the surface, to be out of alignment with your agenda?
Once you decide to live your truth, you will no longer be a victim. The truth empowers you, even when you perceive loss. Living your truth means that you speak up when you feel like something isn’t quite right. It means that you have a moral, ethical and spiritual code that you have both the discipline and the desire to live by. It means that you are accountable for the results in your life, but that you do not judge yourself for them. You give yourself hearty helpings of love and compassion and plenty of room to evolve. Sure, it takes courage to make this kind of mental shift, and it can be scary at first. But let me assure you, the release you feel while living your truth is worth the agony of the first step. Wouldn’t it be fabulous to get off your knees? You can do it. Drop the illusion of confusion and live your truth…losses be damned.
Wishing You Clarity and Courage,
My Three Things (dot) Org is asking people around the world to name three things they’re willing to forgive themselves for. The response we’ve received so far is overwhelming. We all need an outlet; a place where we feel safe enough to let go of guilt and shame. We are honored that so many people have decided to share their stories with us. Submissions will be included in a book about forgiveness and releasing judgment. Would you like to know what people are forgiving themselves for? Are you ready to be inspired by these brave souls so that you, too, will have the courage to set yourself free? Read a few of the submissions we’ve received from people like you around the world by clicking on the HEAL tab on our home page. They are bound to touch your heart.
We’d like to thank you for taking the time to visit our website and learn about what we’re doing and why. EXTRA special thanks to those who are willing to answer the question: “What are YOUR three things?” To participate in this project, click on the RELEASE tab above and fill out a release form. Then, submit! It’s that simple. Releasing judgment against yourself is a crucial step toward healing guilt and shame. I believe you deserve the peace that follows release.
By the way, did you know you have the option to submit your three things anonymously? Well, now you do…so go for it!
Wishing you Freedom and Lightness of Being, Always!
Here’s a trusty “My Three Things” health-check question for you: Is your heart open or closed? I’m not talking atherosclerosis here. Spiritually and emotionally, are you open and willing to receive or are you closed, cluttered and constricted? How do you know the difference? Pay attention to your emotions. When it comes to life, living and loving, do you have a tendency to feel cautious or curious?
When you feel cautious, your heart is closed. You tend to view everything, everyone and even your self with a degree of discernment that darkens even the most promising situations. You ask yourself questions like “What if this or that happens?” and say things like “I don’t know about this” and “I think I’ll stick with what I know.” You impose limits on what you can and cannot experience in this lifetime. You play it safe by judging anything and everything around you based on your past. Therefore, life is nothing more than the stale repetition of outworn patterns that were learned long ago. There is no room for anything fresh or new. Life is boring, painful and banal.
When you feel curious, your heart is open. You refrain from judging anyone or anything that comes into your experience. You include rather than exclude. You ask questions with a smile on your face rather than a pessimistic smirk. You are intrigued by different perspectives, tastes and preferences. You embrace all of life and welcome new people, places and things into your world with fervor, fascination and passion.
When you release judgment, your heart opens and light comes in to loosen the bulky chains of conditioned malaise. You begin to trust life. Your heavy, cautious nature transforms into giddy curiosity. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? You have the power to choose this way of life for yourself. Live and love with your heart wide open. Amazing adventures, new friends and laughter are all waiting for you!
Open-Hearted and Loving You,